to listen | للاستماع | slušati

Friends.

There’s nothing like that first cup of Scottish tea after a time away. Believe me, I know because I’m finally back in Scotland. And I’ve got stories to share!

Autumn has spun out of control. But like, in a good way. Landing in DFW the 2^nd of October was like landing on a foreign planet. Too hot; too dry. The next three and a half weeks were packed with family and friends, lots of burgers and Tex-Mex, turning 25, visiting nine Oklahoma church communities to share of missional work in Scotland and just lots of resting. It was perfect timing to step away, tell stories, listen and take stock. Also, to realise how completely weird I now sound.

Thank you for being a refuge, Oklahoma, for listening to, supporting, praying for and encouraging me, for buying me meals and letting me crash. I’m grateful for you all this month and all the other months.

By the way, if you’d meant to or want to support me, here is the link to my Nazarene Missions support page. I understand there’s tonnes of things you can give to these days. However, Nancy, my personnel coordinator, said I shouldn’t be living off a few hundred USD per month in the UK. She’s probably right.

But anyway!

Jet lagged me sharing about coffee shop ministry
at Alva Church of the Nazarene. They fed me
 fried chicken after this.

Do you know what your calling is? Not your life plan – house, family, travel, two cars, retirement plan. Not moral living or good manners. Like, your God-given purpose right now? This question sat with me the entire time I was home, possibly because I’ve been freaking out over whatever is to come at the end of this visa. I tried asking some people I look up to that question and read some really dumb articles. Ultimately, though, my trip home forced me to slow down and listen for the answer.

One of the best moments from home was having the all-day breakfast at Ozzie’s Diner with my favourite Marine friend and watching the OU/Texas game. As the game (painfully) went on and the diner emptied, the waitresses joined us. We won’t talk about the final score, mainly because why would you want to hurt me like that?

BOOMER SOONER

I loved that day, anyway, because Dawn, the pink eye shadowed waitress, shared about life, her Green Bay Packers obsession, celebrities she’s met, her grandsons, her turbulent ex and her current boyfriend Danny. She wanted to know what I did and why I would move across the world. It wasn’t a Touched by an Angel moment. No golden light shown upon us. But it was one of those fantastic moments where God spoke, I think.

There were other similar moments too. Like Maria at the gas station on the way home from Dallas who’d just lost her job and felt adrift. And Mr. Khan the businessman on the flight to London going through an ugly divorce and trapped by addiction.

As I listened, God reminded me of the woman at the well from John 4. I used to completely identify with her and still do some – her desperate need to be heard and understood despite her ball-and-chain mess, her ravenous searching for something greater and more powerful than herself. I was reminded of Esther who was made queen of Persia "for such a time as this". God also reminded me of the lessons in last autumn’s blog, “to be a part of creating just the right space and environment for connections to happen.” These thoughts have been the undercurrent of all my journal entries lately.

I was invited to attend the Eurasia Regional Conference in Turkey at the start of November. It was an incredible week. I don’t really know how to do it justice. Hearing stories of life and ministry in Lebanon and India, talking about how reconciliation looks in our own contexts, watching the sun rise over the Mediterranean with my British Isles and Irish friends. A big, fat week of abundance.

The final night, we were meant to share communion with a person from another culture. Looking around, I spotted my Iraqi friend just walking into the room. With tears in his eyes, he told me of his sister who’d left Iraq for Turkey when he was ten. Attending the conference was sort of a once-in-a-lifetime chance for him, and she came down just for that day to see him. They’d said goodbye that night not knowing if they’d ever see each other again. All I could do was listen. I’ll never know what that’s like. We decided to share communion and just pray together. On our way to the table, we found our Croatian friend whose leg injury hadn’t been healing properly. He needed a communion partner as well.

It was an extraordinary moment praying for each other, English, Arabic and Croatian words interweaving and going to God. We exchanged nametags and currencies remembering to pray and lift each other up, remembering that we’re linked in this love for God and His kingdom.

I always feel a deep, immovable certainty when God speaks. I knew that night with that deep certainty that I am a bridge. Wherever I am, whatever I’m doing now and in the future, I’m a gap-closer. I listen to the stories and offer the hope I’ve found. I pray, create places of refuge, be peace, joy and love. I’m a reconciler because my identity is deeply rooted in God, the ultimate reconciler.

Again, I ask you. What is your calling? Your God-given purpose?

Returning from Turkey, I was immediately back into the swing of things here with Blend and Jubilee House, yet I’ve not stopped listening. The other day, a friend who recently started her own clothing company to financially support charitable causes said something like, “I’m just so tired of people complaining about the bad in the world but remaining so passive. I just want to be around people who see all the bad yet go out to discover the solution.”

Yes! That’s our purpose. Discovering ‘the solution’; being ‘the solution’. There are too many deep, open wounds needing care, attention, financial support, creativity, passion. There are too many searching for the divine, beautiful God who makes it all hang right. We have to walk into God’s calling for us though it may lead us into darkness. Running, refusing to open our eyes, or barricading ourselves will not exempt us from that darkness, from the bleeding. Honestly, walking into God’s calling will be our salvation, I think.

So, what is your calling?

Jubilee House is an expression of my calling. It’s gained speed in the past few months. Midway through October, Jubilee was awarded Scottish charitable status! This has taken literally months, but we can now apply for grants, fundraise, etc. God continues to connect our team with experts and volunteers who help us move forward. And this next Friday, we’re hosting our official launch party. One of the major MP’s who champions domestic abuse here in Scotland will be speaking. Others who are passionate about providing solutions will be there as well.

As our volunteers network grows, more and more women join our community of second chances, not because they have experience or practical skills to offer but because they were or are now trapped in an abusive partnership. It’s sad yet not surprising considering the stats. The house is completely gutted, and we’re just now beginning the long, up-hill trek of fundraising. Yet Jubilee began a long, long time ago. It continues on as we hear the stories and offer prayers for restoration. It’s the kingdom of God seeping into the cracks before we’ve actually cleared the red tape.

If I am truly meant to be a bridge, I hope this update connects you not just to God’s work here in Scotland but maybe to His voice calling you to see your life in a fresh way and to take that next step, whatever it might be for you.

Thanks for sharing in the journey with me.

Catie

PS Obviously, I wasn't in Scotland to get photos of it being beautiful this autumn. Turkey certainly made up for it though. Thanks to my pal, Amy, who is brilliant and took most of these.

Deluge: BLEND IS OPEN!!!!

People!

I have so much to tell you. Crazy good stuff has happened here over the last three months.

BLEND COFFEE LOUNGE, PAISLEY HAS FINALLY OPENED!!!!

Seriously! Let’s all take a moment to celebrate this!

The second Blend shop is no longer just a nice wee dream that I write to you all about every few months. It’s happening right now as I write this. When one of the major reasons you’ve moved across the world suddenly becomes a reality, it’s actually the craziest feeling. God’s like, “See! It was all worth it, right??”

Everything’s been so beautifully brought together. Lemme show you around!

'We created this place for you. Our place is your place. Enjoy!'

 

'Smile: it's the second best thing you can do with your lips...'
The first best thing is probably either drinking coffee or eating Tex-Mex.

How can we make your day?

'We are a diverse band of friends united in our passion for people
to experience some of the best coffee and tea the world over.'

Blend is about details and discovery.
Five of our stools are a puzzle that forms a quote.
'I had the blues because I had no shoes, until upon the street I met a man
who had no feet.'

A customer hand made this fabulous pillow for us.
Together, we're creating Blend every day.

The Evolution of Coffee: Wake up, look like a monster, start drinking...

And if you drink enough coffee, you'll eventually look like this.

Reminders are everywhere.

We even have a children's corner! Colouring, books, board games!

And we have a scratch off map of the world.
Customers can scratch off their home country.
I've scratched off Oklahoma for us all!

Isn’t it cool?! Before we’d even opened, we had over 500 likes on Facebook. Customers have said the following about the shop:

Staff Training

“This place is so peaceful. It’s become my sanctuary from out there.”

“This is a happy zone! You’re all so smiley!”

“The people are really what make this place.”

I don’t think I’ve told y’all much about Paisley yet, but it’s important that you understand our context. Paisley was a happening place once upon a time. It was a major industrial town (paisley pattern textiles, etc.). It has a university, gorgeous cathedrals and an abbey, tons and tons of history. People still remember back to how they always used to choose to shop or go for a night out in Paisley instead of Glasgow decades ago.

For many reasons though, it’s become a rough, forgotten city. Businesses have left, and few have moved in. Some of Scotland’s most deprived areas are in Paisley now. In the evenings after businesses shut, it’s not uncommon to see street fights or drunks and addicts roaming about. I don’t want to be too dramatic in describing it. There are good parts and nice folks as well. But as a friend said, “On the whole, it’s like a city but without any of the good stuff.” Maybe you can see how Blend would stick out in a place li

ke that.

Really, both Blend and Jubilee House as well as the networks of people behind them have become a part of a larger deluge of God into Paisley. There’s lots of folks working to bring light and hope to the place. Years ago, God put a passion in people’s hearts from Erskine Church of the Nazarene (ECN) to create a fresh, unique expression of Jesus in a dark place. Though those people have skilfully led these exciting new projects, both are quickly expanding beyond any one person.  

They’re like the river of healing described in Ezekiel 47 & Revelation 22, flowing from God’s temple, unstoppable, beginning as a trickle but growing deeper and wider the farther it flows. New life flourishes wherever the river flows. Salty water is made pure and fresh, and the surrounding landscape itself is healed.

Jubilee and Blend are both like that. Blend is sometimes more obvious though. One of my favourite moments so far has been watching a customer discover one of the many hidden details in the shop’s design and then sharing it with the two customers next to him. Over the next 30 minutes, the three got to know each other and left as friends. It was a real life expression of our Blend Story – to “look for the rewards of curiosity” and to “learn the unforced rhythms of grace.”

At our pre-opening night, we packed the shop with our
closest family and friends and showed off our skills.
Those who stuck around after cleaning got to enjoy
the after party. Such a fun night!

God’s movement into Paisley is bigger than any of us. It’s working in ways that we don’t see, didn’t plan, couldn’t have imagined. We’re clinging to the Spirit and opening ourselves up to the unknown. Obviously, it’s not always this beautiful, perfect picture. Things don’t always work. Shifts can be stressful. Jubilee House can get caught in the red tape. The balance of our lives is totally uprooted as we pour our passion and energy into making this thing move. God is sovereign though. When we find the end of the rope, He refuels us, renews us, re-impassions us, and lifts us up.

The other day on the bus to my first shift in Blend, Paisley, I was thinking over how Jubilee House seems to sometimes just drag on, and was this really needed? Am I putting energy into something that I think is a part of God’s plans when in reality it’s something we’ve just forced into being? At that point, almost as if it were staged, a woman and her husband got on the bus. Most everyone looked up at the couple but then quickly averted their eyes. Her entire right eye was bashed in, black and blue, to the point where she could barely see. She had five stitches along her cheekbone. There was only one seat left, and as she went to sit, her husband started calling her names and said that that was his seat. So she stood for the remainder of the bus journey.

This river of life, this river of healing is so absolutely necessary. The daily mundane threatens to blind me from that. But then suddenly, God brings an experience like that one on the bus to lift up my eyes and remind me that the world is desperate for hope, and He is responding with overwhelming, generally absurd love.

I love love love telling the story of Jubilee House to non-Christians. It makes absolutely NO sense for a woman from the Isle of Mull who has never attended ECN to just give a house away to be used for good. That just sounds dumb, right? It isn’t dumb, though, when you’ve discovered God’s river of life and have been so radically healed, changed, satisfied, and have become a part of that river yourself. 

Friends, can you join me in drowning Blend, Jubilee House, Paisley and Scotland in some serious prayer?? Over the past several weeks, God has been breaking my heart and opening my eyes even wider to the brokenness around me. There’s just so much. But like a wave, He’s steadily washing over life here, pouring His spirit into all. I’m praying for even more of that salty to fresh water kind of restoration. 

I hope you’ve witnessed or rediscovered God’s river of life for yourself this summer. I’m still planning to come home this autumn to support raise for another year in Scotland. So I will be contacting pastors and missions leaders over the next several weeks about the possibility of sharing with your church community. As an added bonus, I might be bringing one of my favourite Scottish lasses and Blend baristas with me!

Thanks for sharing in this journey with me!

Love,

Catie

PS Thank you so so much to my church family in Tishomingo for all the cards, snacks and Oklahoma gear you sent with my mum. Half her suitcase was just gifts for me. I really don’t know what words to use to say thank you enough. Love and miss you all! 

PSS I can't break tradition. I just can't. Unless it's a tradition that I don't like, but this isn't one of those. Here are pictures of Scotland being beautiful.

Some friends took me to Portpatrick which is
exactly what you'd imagine a quaint Scottish fishing village to be like.
We explored Dunsky Castle, built sometime in the 1100's
and ate fish and chips on the beach. You can see Northern Ireland just across the sea.
The sun shone all day. It was glorious.

Portpatrick Cliffs

Mum came to visit! This is our bus selfie to prove it.
People always talk about how they have the best mum in the world.
Gurl please! It's a very solid fact that my mum is actually the best.
I'm blessed beyond what I deserve.

We saw a lot of amazing places around Scotland.
My favourite, though, was Dunkeld. 

Though Scotland is amazing, sometimes you just need to go somewhere that's so overwhelming in every way. So my friend Dayna and I went to Rome! Now, all I want is to learn Italian and just be a Roman woman.

Something ancient

Trastavere

Top of the Spanish Steps
That sun!!!

A ceiling & my head

1 of .....6 gelatos.
All pizza, pasta or ice cream I've had since
my Roman holiday has just been a place holder until
I can get back to Rome for the real stuff.

The Campfire of Coffee

Hi Friends!

Most of my updates predictably begin with a comment on how quickly time is passing. It's an unfortunate reality, though, that this beautiful chapter of my life, doing this stuff that I care so much about with this wonderful community, is so limited. Last week's eight-month anniversary of me living in Scotland reminded me of that.

A mocha with rosetta latte art. It's taken me months
to pour a rosetta.

For one big fat reason, though, I'm sooo happy the past three months have flown by. Scotland is on the same latitudinal parallel as Alaska, meaning that in the dead of winter, it gets around seven hours of daylight. Not sunlight though. Rainy, freezing, blustery, overcast light. There's a word from the Scots language for it that people still use today - dreich.  It affects you in ways you cannot predict and probably don't fully understand in the moment. All you know is that you just want to be cocooned in a duvet, eating endless soups and bars of Lindt dark chocolate with hazelnuts, drinking coffee by the pot and watching Mama Mia on repeat. At least, that's all I wanted... Maybe I'm being a bit dramatic. Regardless, most everyone slips into survival mode and sleepwalks through winter.

On top of this, homesickness has almost imperceptibly crept up on me. I'll suddenly miss a Rudy's BBQ brisket baked potato on a Sunday or the freedom of my car or tornado season or the intense July heat/vitamin D. And my accent has morphed into something super weird too. But it's all a part of the package deal that you learn to embrace when trying to be in a new culture.

I think the thing about Scottish winter is that its extreme oppressiveness makes you realise even more how much you desperately need and crave resurrection and the light and love of community. A lot of folks here find community on a football team or at a pub or a Mums & Toddlers group or among work colleagues. BLEND Coffee Lounge and all that it encompasses has become that key community for a lot of people in Perth. In the middle of the darkness, it becomes our saving grace, a place to find winter's antidote "around the campfire of coffee".

One of the Blend staff recently mastered bear latte art!
I'm jealous/in admiration.

Just a few weeks ago, we were reminded all over again of how essential this quirky, little Blend family is and how essential it is for us to always be loving, gracious and spiritually attentive to all. Early in my regular Thursday shift, a police officer came in to ask if we'd seen a missing woman. None of us recognised her from his description and didn't think too much of it. Later after lunch, one of our regulars, a woman who has become a part of our patchwork family, came in looking very upset. Ignoring our hellos, she went directly to our manager, handed him a letter and left. It was strange but assumed we'd check up on her the next time she was in. Around 2pm, a worker from the deli across the street came in to say that the upset woman had been in that morning, deeply disturbed, frantically writing letters, and had threatened the deli staff not to call the police. The letter she'd given our manager turned out to be her final will. We were so completely shocked. She was eventually found and is getting help now. However, for those few hours between realising her intentions and hearing that she was safe, we were all just sick to our stomachs. She makes Blend what it is just as much as any of us do.

Blend isn't just a coffee shop. It's a refuge, a place where we find grace, meaning, belonging, roots, etc. It's a place where all the tiny details add up to one lovely experience that has the power to transform a whole day. Or a whole life. The Holy Spirit inhabits that little coffee shop. People come to escape the darkness or to cry out for help when the darkness threatens to swallow them whole. It can be easy to forget that when we're stuck in the ruts of routine. But that shift shook me and reminded me of how much the world needs unusual yet sacred little sanctuaries like Blend. It doesn't even matter if it's coffee we're gathering around. We just need genuine communities to lean into while we wait for the divine to seep into our raggedness.

The fellas with Pastors Derrick & Alan pre-dunking

Can you remember your baptism? I bet it wasn't in the
freezing cold water of Loch Lomond!

Lately, everything here has been waking up. Metaphors of new life are everywhere. Easter sort of unexpectedly happened, and all of Scotland was covered in daffodils. Our church had a baptism and picnic at Loch Lomond that unusually sunny day, and three men publicly committed themselves to Christ. It's exciting to watch their journeys of faith being weaved into everyone else's in the congregation.

I love, too, that the congregation is waking up to God. People are looking for Him, and in return, He's giving them huge dreams.

And people are actually fearlessly trying to make those dreams happen!

Dreams like reaching out to difficult teenagers on a Friday night, beginning risky new ministries in new towns, a Monday night kids club that engages kids from the community with almost no church experience, an informal cooking club where foodies can marvel over flavours and share their stories, and several other exciting yet currently unmentionable dreams.

I think I gain so much more from people in Scotland than all that I have to offer them. I'm constantly inspired by people here who, risking so much and facing the seemingly impossible, dare to try new things with the hope that others might find light and love and a place of belonging in them.

At times, Jubilee House is one of those things that seems overwhelmingly impossible - just this big, complicated mess that requires so much effort to get moving. I continually have to be reminded that it is actually moving a lot! We've applied for charity status. We're working on an awesome promo video. We're working on getting licensed by the government. And stuff keeps coming together as we need it to - a broader community of skill sets and support for the project and actual money in the bank! So much goes into creating this new community, but God is totally in all the details. And the more the team moves into it, the more God affirms that this project absolutely must happen!

On a more practical note, I'm planning to apply for a second year-long visa this summer. I want to continue working to make Jubilee House and the second Blend shop happen, and the Erskine bunch have decided to keep me around if the government gives me the go-ahead. So I'll be coming home for a while this autumn some time to support raise, soak up some sun and rediscover my Oklahoma accent. I'd love to share more about what God's doing in Scotland with you and your church! Just giving you all a heads up before I begin contacting your pastor or missions president.

I'm so grateful for you all. Thanks for sharing in this journey with me!

Love,
Catie

Rivers in the Wasteland

Happy New Year Everyone!

As of last week, I’ve officially lived in Scotland for five months. I cannae believe it! Though it’s tough sometimes being away from friends and family, good Tex-Mex food, having my own car, sunshine and my Chaco sandals, I seriously love living in Scotland and getting to do the stuff that I do! I love knowing with all certainty that I was meant to be here at this time in life, doing these things, knowing and loving these friends. I love getting to be a very tiny part of God’s gigantic, beautiful story for Scotland.

Jubilee House is a major part of that. It’s slowly moving forward but moving all the same. And in the past couple of months, God’s been showing me just how absolutely necessary this project and others like it are for Scotland, for His justice and mercy to be played out here.

In December, the Chief Constable of Scotland said in his report that Scottish police respond to a domestic abuse call every nine minutes on average. Every nine minutes?! Sometimes the problem isn’t exactly obvious here. Police Scotland reported that 87% of cases in 2013 occurred in a home. It’s very much an injustice and a bondage that happens behind closed doors. If you look closely, though, the mentality behind it can be seen in subtle ways.

It’s exciting to watch as a team of people at the Erskine Church of the Nazarene come together with a passion for this project. Over the past two months, we’ve worked to clear out all furniture from the house and strip it of carpeting and wallpaper. I don’t think the incredible symbolism behind what we’re doing has been lost on anyone. It reminded me of one of my favourite passages from Isaiah 43:18-19, “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.”

We’re also working to build our network of folks doing the same kinds of work and to secure all the proper permits and licenses from the local Council. The government here’s obviously a bit different from home, so I’m learning to let go of pride, become a student, and accept info and help wherever and from whoever I can get it. Until a couple of months ago, I didn’t know what an HMO or a PVG was. However, living and working in a different country require playing the game by a new set of rules and learning those rules as I go. And I love that!

I always feel sort of like a proud parent when a potential funder or partner views the house for the first time and says something like, “Wow! The potential in this place is incredible!” I imagine that one day, when it’s up and running and people are shocked by how amazing Jubilee House is, whoever is leading it at that point will be saying, “Yeah, I wish you could see how far God has brought it!” Talk about a great story!

Until now, I’ve never been a part of a church staff, but from what I can tell so far, a big part of the job is just hearing people’s stories, becoming a part of those stories and inviting them into God’s story. That may be oversimplifying it. And of course, it all gets super convoluted with nasty church politics, corporatism, consumerism and all that junk that screws up the Church in the Western world. But it’s awesome that that seems to be the heart of the job and that all of us can and are called to do that in our little places in the world.

Others may not see it this way, but that’s the heart of being a barista at Blend Coffee Lounge too. A couple of really amazing friends from my years at the University of Oklahoma recently came to visit, and one asked what exactly made the shop a ministry instead of just a really lovely, local coffee shop? There are tons of things, but for me, the staff’s values – the perspective from which we do everything – transform the shop from just a nice, wee place to have a cuppa into a genuine slice of God’s Kingdom. He’s using all of us, from the committed to those still searching, IF we chose to live into that ethos every shift that we work.

Some super, major, mega exciting stuff is happening with the second Blend shop!! I’m hoping and praying that I’ll be able to share with you all more fully in the next newsletter. Until then though, please, por favor, continue praying with me that God brings together the right location and staff at the right time. We continue believing, hoping, praying, and working on our latte art while we wait.

I hope you are well wherever you may be. And as always, thanks for sharing in this journey with me!

Love,

Catie

PS: This is the point in my update where I normally would share photos of Scotland being beautiful. However, my laptop has officially been fried by the UK’s different electric voltage, and my phone recently sustained severe latte damage. Luckily, there’s Instagram!

My two fabulous sisters came to visit for nine days before Christmas. Here's just some of what we did. 

Glencoe is probably one of my most favourite places in Scotland,
so of course we spent a day there. It's gorgeous no matter where you look.

Denise is standing in the Chapel Royal at Stirling Castle.
The Stewarts lived in this castle. Mary Queen of Scots was born
in Stirling Castle and crowned just to the right of where Denise is standing.
And both William Wallace and Robert the Bruce won battles in Stirling,
taking the castle in the process. So much history!

The River Tay flows through Perth which is where Blend is located.
Water in one form or another is everywhere in Scotland.

Of course, we had to spend several hours hanging out in Blend.
I pinky promise my latte art is getting better, despite this picture.

Some people get Christmas stockings.
I, however, got a Christmas suitcase!
Thanks, Mom and Dad, for sending me a little
bit of home during my first Christmas away.